I am back.
Well, okay, I have really been here all along, but have not been able to convince myself to write anything. Okay, wait, that's a lie too. I have written plenty. But I have not been able to push that little publish button.
It is so mind boggling to me that one day I can be a fine and happy blogger (FAHB) and the next day I am an inconsolable paranoid mess. This round of depression, while shorter, was no less intense. I am very happy to finally be coming out of the haze, and I thank you all so very much for sticking with me despite my lack of updating.
Okay...so now jumping back into the blogging thing is a little intimidating. What do I write about? Where was I last? Oh yeah, the smoking thing. Well, hubby and i have been over 3 weeks without a smoke - and, yes ladies and gentlemen, we are STILL MARRIED!!! **takes bow**. Mind you, we have been sleeping about 2.5 feet apart in bed and somedays manage barely a grunt as we pass each other, but we are getting better.
If you ask people why they don't quit smoking, there are so many reasons. But I think the number one reason I have ever heard is the weight issue. I thought, being so hyper-controlling of my diet, that I would be above all of that. I have thought wrong. I was mistaken in that I assumed people gained weight due to mindless munching in order to fulfill some oral fixation. I determined to do none of that. Instead, I ferociously chewed gum (sugar free even) and drank gallons upon gallons of water. I don't eat sweets, I stayed away from carbs. SO you would think I had escaped the weight thing, right? Well you would be wrong. I have gained 8 pounds.
Now I can almost hear you rolling your eyes (yes, I have VERY GOOD hearing) saying - 8 pounds, in 3 weeks? Give me a break. But before you think I am a total nut, I think I have an explanation for this - and pardon me, but it IS kind of gross. I am bloated and constipated. YUMMY. I do not have a whole lot of knowledge about the workings of ones intestinal track (as my friend Kat can attest after she had to give me a tutorial on what the heck diverticulitis/osis was) but I do know that people are supposed to poop more than once a week.
It is like my body is flipping me the bird and having a temper tantrum a la 2 year old style. My daughter used to hold her breath until she turned a purplish blue....that or she would force herself to throw up everywhere. Yeah, so my body is doing more of the breath holding thing.
I went only last night to get some medical intervention for this issue. I am worried though, not wanting to become hooked or something - but also knowing that they do make laxatives for occasions such as this. Not that constipation is an occasion. Cause if it was, I am sure Hallmark would have come up with a greeting card for it by now.
Okay, enough of the poop talk. I am worried that after my non-postage issues, I will now lose the rest of my followers due to gagging over inappropriate blog topics.
I took a week off of everything a couple of weeks back. Everything except work that is, which may seem kind of hilarious because normally when people take holidays, they take them from work. The difference is that my job does not seem like work to me, it is just an insanely early appointment to get up and listen to my MP3 player, while I also happen to clean and mop.
Anyhow - I am involved in 3 bible studies, a mom's group and other social commitments. Taking the week off was just what I needed. I never realized how draining my schedule was until I didn't have it any more, and once again I am vowing to not take on so much next time. SOMEONE PLEASE REMIND ME OF THIS IN THE FALL!!! I have one study that will end right after Victoria day (end of May for any Americans reading), another that was supposed to end in a couple of weeks (but the leader decided to extend it to mid May), and another that will end in April, around Easter. What will I do with my time? Knowing me, I will probably try to cram it full of all sorts of stuff....but I do have a plan.
I am currently trying to read through my Bible. Yes, I have read from the Bible many many times - but all in parts, and not the entire thing. I am just coming out of Chronicles now - very very long and boring...but I am sure useful to someone....anyhow....I can focus on that.
Also, I think I may take a stab at a new business venture - I would like to look into making aprons. Before you say anything...I know, we are not in the 50's anymore. But I think that every woman secretly wants just ONE apron - one that is so uniquely her, that actually fits her curves, is in colours she likes, and does not say something totally stupid and tacky. Also, if I could make one fabulous apron for a mom, an apron that encompasses all the above qualities, what about making a mini version for her daughter too? I think people would buy them....and I think I would love to make them. SO this summer I am going to experiment with a few designs, a few different fabrics and some innovative techniques that would make my aprons stand apart from the rest. I will keep you posted, but would love to have your feedback - would you buy one...either for yourself or someone you know???? What would you pay for this?
Also this summer, i will have my 12 year old boy Fidget back for most of the time (YAY!!! I am SOOOO excited), my 4 year old daughter "the Mouth" and the youngest "the Joker". On top of that, my church has asked me to be the MC for this year's VBS. How cool is that??!!
Oh yeah, and we have family camp, and my brother's wedding, and marathon training - SHEESH!!! Where did the summer go????
Okay, I am going to go talk myself down from the ledge I have just climbed up on. I am waaaaay too busy. Deep breaths now.....in...out....in.....out....
whew....okay, I feel better now. I guess when you get right down to it, life does not stop being so crazy until you are dead. And if it did stop being so crazy, you would be bored. SO you might as well just enjoy what you've got and do the best you can, right??
Thanks again for all who supported me through my tough time. It means more to me than you will ever know.