I would like to think that I am relatively cool under pressure - that is, I can handle pretty much anything that befalls our family, so long as it all happens at nice, spread out intervals. It is those times when the stars align or whatever it is that causes these things to happen, and all the little things happen at once that I begin to get overwhelmed.
Hubby is still having his migraines, nearly every other day, and on medication that makes him either tired, dizzy, nauseous, or all 3 combined. When given a choice between searing head pain and overwhelming tiredness and nausea, it is a tough call. Add to that the sickness that took over the 2 littlest ones, and the nastiness that always follows it*. Then, lo and behold, the Momma gets sick too. My reserves are low, my patience has run thin, and I am running on empty right now.
* anyone with kids knows that their sickness-induced calm and inertia is only followed by 3 times as many days of insanity - it is as if they are making up for lost time, with interest. NASTY
I guess it is my own fault - I believe it was me that bragged about how my life is a well oiled machine, how I don't have time to get sick, and so here is how God is set to prove me wrong!
Now this part of this post was actually written on a different day from the first - I guess I hit save instead of publish and so it landed somewhere in cyberspace....
Yesterday was a difficult day for me - as you see above, all the circumstances of life are kind of weighing me down. I have, in the past, suffered intense periods of depression. I have been blessed with over a year depression free, and so when I start to feel down and out, I begin to worry. Worry that any moment the flood will come, the clouds roll in and I will spiral down. It takes incredible amounts of strength to swim against that tide, and sometimes your whole body, even your brain tells you to stop swimming and just let yourself float. But I know that you don't just float - you sink....and you drown.
For me personally, the fastest way to drown is to dwell. For this reason, call it avoidance, I reign myself to just not think about the things that make me sad. Just keep swimming.