WHEW. Okay, now that that is over with (and by that I mean holiday insanity) I can get back to a relatively normal life...I think. No, wait, still have 3 more days until hunny goes back to work....okay...must...make...it...through...next...three..days....
To say we have had a busy couple of weeks would be an understatement. We, wanting to make the most of our time off together, decided to schedule a TON of home repairs/improvements, amongst all the family visiting and other miscellaneous revelry that goes along with Christmas. Please, please, if I ever do this again, somebody send me an e-slap or something.
We have been trying to finish our kitchen counters since the fall. And by finish, I mean replace. And by me I mean my hubby.
My mom replaced her old counters with beautiful granite in the summer. She was going to just toss her old counter, but I asked if we could have it, since the counter in question was one of those long stretches of counter that never got used in her house (thus it looked nearly new) and ours was one of those counters that probably looked good in the showroom waaaaay back 'in the day' but looked less than acceptable by the time my family had used it for a few years.
There was the time the Fidget (then about 9 or 10 years old) decided to see how easy it would be to cut a slice out of the counter (very easily, he found out) or the time I put a hot pot down after burning my fingers and leaving a nasty brown burn ring. There were the thousands of coffees brewed, poured, spilled, etc, which left their telltale coffee ring/drip mark/stains. All of this to say that we desperately needed to replace the counter.
Needless to say we were thrilled to find out that mom's counters would fit our kitchen, and hubby went and picked them up and put them in the garage to be cut. Fast forward a couple of months, and there they still were. SO....here we arrive back at Christmas holiday, and the prospect of installing them (finally).
Just listening to the whole ordeal nearly sent me to the looney bin. There was a lot of stomping, grumbling, mumbling, muttering, sawing, banging, wrenching, and general unhappiness emanating from the kitchen/garage. The saw blade either chipped the edge or travelled while cutting, and hubby was none too pleased. And when hubby is none too pleased, we ALL know about it. He is not exactly the quiet, brooding type. Once the sink hole was cut, it was just a hair too small (better too small than too big, right?) but just big enough to fit the sink in HALFWAY, where it became wedged and took an incredible about of wrestling to remove. Once the sink was in, the taps needed to be installed. But then they sprayed water all over the inside of the cupboard, much to hubby's dismay (at this point, I am nearly beside myself with anxiety). Finally, FINALLY, the counter is done. And clean - and hubby even went the extra mile and vacuumed out all the cupboards underneath it. AND he organized all the under-cupboard crap that gets shoved in there. What a guy. That totally redeemed him for nearly making me insane.
Add to all of this three kids all hopped up on chocolate and other miscellaneous holiday snack items, PLUS the fact that I decided it was time to paint The Mouth's bedroom, plus a surprise visit from hubby's overseas brother, and it makes for a desperately stressful week.
So, here we are back at another Friday, and I am militant about getting back on track with the blogging. So, going by my former schedule (so thoughtfully planned, but not so thoughtfully executed), I see we are on 10 THINGS DAY. All right then, here you go:
10 THINGS I DO NOT MISS ABOUT DRINKING
10. The money spent - is it just me or does money seem to go flying out of your pocket at the bar? Its as if you have one drink and the frugal gene switches itself off and you become Mrs. Bigbucks....I could easily spend $60 in a night and not think twice about it, but then go to the grocery store and not buy bread because I know I could save $.20 if I bought it at the store across town.
9. 'Beer Goggles' - not while looking at other people, but in looking at myself. I always thought I looked fabulous - and yet I look back at photos and think - oh man, that girl is a mess - oh wait, that's me. UGH. Why did someone not tell me? Oh, right, they were wearing beer goggles too.
8. Complete diet abandon - I remember after a night of drinking having no problem whatsoever eating a HUGE slice of greasy pizza or giant sausage or some other heart-attack inducing food item. I had absolutely no qualms about this. When sober, I would never touch this stuff, but drunk, I turn into an eating machine. Complete loss of control....yes, that pretty much sums up my whole drinking experience.
7. Unrealistic perception of time - I would laughingly look at the clock, see that the bar was closing (3:00 am) and know that I had to be at work the next morning by 9:00am. Yes, I would laugh out loud, and proclaim that I was impervious to tiredness. Now, my new found love of sleep may be related to the energy sucking toddlers I have clinging to my legs (I quit drinking completely before I had either of them) but I honestly think that were I to re-enter the drinking world, my perception of time would once again be warped.....
6. The Drunken Phone Call - come on, we have all done it. I have perhaps done it more than others, but we have ALL done it. In this day of technological advancements, you can also add to this the drunken email, text and instant message. Worst part of all this was that I would have very little memory of what had happened when I woke up in the morning. there would be vague reminiscing of sobbing, typing, more sobbing, some name calling, and finally bed. Not good, not good at all.
5. Morning After the Night Before Body Issues - not only would my hair mysteriously stick out in odd directions, but my face was entirely too puffy and my eyes looked like they were different sizes. There was also the stomach upset, the nauseous aversion to food entirely, and the off centered wobbly walk.
4. Promises Made, Promises Broken - I would see lots of people that I rarely see, and make these huge glamorous plans with them. And then as soon as the promise escaped my lips, it also escaped my brain. How many times have I reneged on some engagement with an old friend? Enough that at one point I had so many burned bridges I had no where to run....again, NOT good
3. The Post revelry clean-up - how does one person make such a mess between the door and the bed. Keys tossed, shoes in 2 different rooms, clothes strewn all about, and yet still waking up wearing my jacket. It would take me longer to hunt for various items and put them back in their proper places than it did to get ready for the night before. Now that I don't drink, I clean up after people who do (at the bar/restaurant where I work) and I am a witness to clothes left all about and miscellaneous items all over the place. It makes me wonder when I find one shoe - not 2, just one. Did the owner of the show not realize they had lost the shoe??? Or maybe they didn't care....whatever the case, drunk people make bigger messes than toddlers.
2. Mung Mouth - need I say more? After a night of drinking and smoking, you would have been safe to leave about 8 feet clearance from anywhere where my breath would escape. Trust me on this one - I had such bad breath that I could melt paint. Yeah....gross.
1. The Meltdown - having spent 2 hours primping and preening, picking out the perfect outfit, slipping into some control top nylons and buckling up the slinky heels, pouring myself into my dress etc etc - it could all be undone in a 5 minute public vomiting. Never vomited in public? It is about as glamorous as it sounds. There is nothing sexy about a girl with barf in her hair. Nothing sexy at all....
SO there you have it - no question as to why I don't drink any more. In fact, doing this list reaffirms for me the convictions I have about not drinking...as for you? I suppose I should be thankful that there are people out there who do continue to imbibe....if not, I wouldn't have a job! Here's to the new year, may all your parties be wonderfully entertaining and barf-free....
I may be a mother but I am Not Your Average Mom
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